August 31, 2010

The End of an Era

After some careful deliberation, I have decided that I am finished with blogging. I have been wanting to quit blogging for some years now, actually, but I hate to give up on things. Shortly after starting a blog, I realized that the process was not for me–but I persevered.

Lately, I haven’t been using my computer for much other than writing. I have to force myself to blog and to tweet, and I get very little joy out of either of those things. I enjoy reading a few blogs and I find them inspiring. I want to return to simpler times where I focus on my craft, on paper, and on my life. There is so much to live for–my new job, horse training, and daily adventures–that blogging and tweeting seems like a silly interruption.

So this is the last post I’ll make. I also plan on discontinuing my twitter account. I love all the friends I have met on the Internet and I hope to stay in touch with you all through email or Facebook.

If you’d like to be “pen pals” with me, than please email me at alorelle22@gmail.com

This will be my last post here, and I will be deleting my Twitter account.

Toast to the end of an era! I hope to hear from you all again in the future. I will continue to read your blogs.

-Ashley Lorelle

August 26, 2010

Weekend Forecast August 27th-30th

I have decided to give my self a four day weekend in order to soak up the last remaining remnants of a summer that I missed out on. The leaves in Upstate New York are already beginning to change so I will be fitting my entire summer into two weeks.

Early (super super early) tomorrow morning, the boyfriend and I leave on a trip to Connecticut where we will be camping out on the Atlantic Ocean at Hammonasset State Park . This is the first time in our five year relationship that we’ve ever taken a weekend trip together and I for one, am bubbling with assignment.

(Notice the three pairs of feet? Those stand for me and my multiple personalities.)

The weekend will be spent eating fresh seafood and amazing pizza, hanging out with relatives, watching fife and drum cores and following the Gilmore Girls trail to Yale.

(Image by Nadya)

Then on Monday, after I’ve returned from Connecticut I will be visiting the New York State Fair with my dad, sister, my niece and my three nephews. I plan to eat plenty of treats and check out all the cool science experiments with the kiddos (though I can hardly call my 17 and 15-year-old nephews “kiddos”.) Some of my favorite parts of the New York State fair include the flower shoes, the Native American village, and the 4-H barns. I see enough cows and horses in everyday life, thank you very much.

I’ll be back with an update on Tuesday. Enjoy your weekend everyone!

August 25, 2010

Perhaps The Reason I’ve Had No Real Blog Update This Week


August 23, 2010

My Summer Sessions Interview

My interview from the Summer Sessions series has been posted on Eonism. This is the first time anyone has ever interviewed me, so I’m very excited about it!

Check out the Interview to find out how I got started writing, what messages I’m trying to send in my work, my view on violent video games and much more!

August 19, 2010

Loading the Moving Trucks: What You Can Expect From My Move

I’m moving (again). I know this seems like old news, but tomorrow I turn heels and head away from the city of Albany back to my home town of Marion. Marion is the very definition of the southern hometown cliche, except it isn’t located in the south, it is located in New York. It’s one of those places that causes you to lose all sense of direction.

Here is what you can expect on the blog after I move: More pictures. One of the many generous gifts I received today on the last day at my job was a gift certificate to Amazon that I used to buy a tripod for my computer. These pictures will inspire countless daily outfit photo shoots that take place on horse back–which means more posts related to fashion and personal style. I will finally write my justification for wearing dresses over jeans, though so many fashion bloggers condemn it. These photos will also include montages of the countryside, bonfires, abandoned buildings, and happy critters.

I will also be updating the blog more frequently. On Monday I begin freelance writing full time, giving myself more time and opportunity to devote to the blog.

Currently, I’m experiencing pre-moving insomnia and strategically planning my next trip to the mall. I hope everyone enjoys their weekends!

-Ashley Lorelle

August 18, 2010

An Inspiring Valedictorian Speech

I read this article at The Best Article Every Day and I felt it was very important to share with you. I agree with everything Erica Goldson had to say and I wish more people were brave enough to share their insights the way she did.

Comment: The following speech was delivered by top of the class student Erica Goldson during the graduation ceremony at Coxsackie-AthensHigh School on June 25, 2010

Here I stand

There is a story of a young, but earnest Zen student who approached his teacher, and asked the Master, “If I work very hard and diligently, how long will it take for me to find Zen? The Master thought about this, then replied, “Ten years . .” ?The student then said, “But what if I work very, very hard and really apply myself to learn fast — How long then?” Replied the Master, “Well, twenty years.” “But, if I really, really work at it, how long then?” asked the student. “Thirty years,” replied the Master. “But, I do not understand,” said the disappointed student. “At each time that I say I will work harder, you say it will take me longer. Why do you say that?” ?Replied the Master, “When you have one eye on the goal, you only have one eye on the path.”

This is the dilemma I’ve faced within the American education system. We are so focused on a goal, whether it be passing a test, or graduating as first in the class. However, in this way, we do not really learn. We do whatever it takes to achieve our original objective.

Some of you may be thinking, “Well, if you pass a test, or become valedictorian, didn’t you learn something? Well, yes, you learned something, but not all that you could have. Perhaps, you only learned how to memorize names, places, and dates to later on forget in order to clear your mind for the next test. School is not all that it can be. Right now, it is a place for most people to determine that their goal is to get out as soon as possible.

I am now accomplishing that goal. I am graduating. I should look at this as a positive experience, especially being at the top of my class. However, in retrospect, I cannot say that I am any more intelligent than my peers. I can attest that I am only the best at doing what I am told and working the system. Yet, here I stand, and I am supposed to be proud that I have completed this period of indoctrination. I will leave in the fall to go on to the next phase expected of me, in order to receive a paper document that certifies that I am capable of work. But I contest that I am a human being, a thinker, an adventurer – not a worker. A worker is someone who is trapped within repetition – a slave of the system set up before him. But now, I have successfully shown that I was the best slave. I did what I was told to the extreme. While others sat in class and doodled to later become great artists, I sat in class to take notes and become a great test-taker. While others would come to class without their homework done because they were reading about an interest of theirs, I never missed an assignment. While others were creating music and writing lyrics, I decided to do extra credit, even though I never needed it. So, I wonder, why did I even want this position? Sure, I earned it, but what will come of it? When I leave educational institutionalism, will I be successful or forever lost? I have no clue about what I want to do with my life; I have no interests because I saw every subject of study as work, and I excelled at every subject just for the purpose of excelling, not learning. And quite frankly, now I’m scared.

John Taylor Gatto, a retired school teacher and activist critical of compulsory schooling, asserts, “We could encourage the best qualities of youthfulness – curiosity, adventure, resilience, the capacity for surprising insight simply by being more flexible about time, texts, and tests, by introducing kids into truly competent adults, and by giving each student what autonomy he or she needs in order to take a risk every now and then. But we don’t do that.” Between these cinderblock walls, we are all expected to be the same. We are trained to ace every standardized test, and those who deviate and see light through a different lens are worthless to the scheme of public education, and therefore viewed with contempt.

H. L. Mencken wrote in The American Mercury for April 1924 that the aim of public education is not “to fill the young of the species with knowledge and awaken their intelligence. … Nothing could be further from the truth. The aim … is simply to reduce as many individuals as possible to the same safe level, to breed and train a standardized citizenry, to put down dissent and originality. That is its aim in the United States.”

Comment: The full passage reads: “The aim of public education is not to spread enlightenment at all; it is simply to reduce as many individuals as possible to the same safe level, to breed and train a standardized citizenry, to down dissent and originality. That is its aim in the United States, whatever pretensions of politicians, pedagogues other such mountebanks, and that is its aim everywhere else.”

To illustrate this idea, doesn’t it perturb you to learn about the idea of “critical thinking.” Is there really such a thing as “uncritically thinking?” To think is to process information in order to form an opinion. But if we are not critical when processing this information, are we really thinking? Or are we mindlessly accepting other opinions as truth?

This was happening to me, and if it wasn’t for the rare occurrence of an avant-garde tenth grade English teacher, Donna Bryan, who allowed me to open my mind and ask questions before accepting textbook doctrine, I would have been doomed. I am now enlightened, but my mind still feels disabled. I must retrain myself and constantly remember how insane this ostensibly sane place really is.

And now here I am in a world guided by fear, a world suppressing the uniqueness that lies inside each of us, a world where we can either acquiesce to the inhuman nonsense of corporatism and materialism or insist on change. We are not enlivened by an educational system that clandestinely sets us up for jobs that could be automated, for work that need not be done, for enslavement without fervency for meaningful achievement. We have no choices in life when money is our motivational force. Our motivational force ought to be passion, but this is lost from the moment we step into a system that trains us, rather than inspires us.

We are more than robotic bookshelves, conditioned to blurt out facts we were taught in school. We are all very special, every human on this planet is so special, so aren’t we all deserving of something better, of using our minds for innovation, rather than memorization, for creativity, rather than futile activity, for rumination rather than stagnation? We are not here to get a degree, to then get a job, so we can consume industry-approved placation after placation. There is more, and more still.

The saddest part is that the majority of students don’t have the opportunity to reflect as I did. The majority of students are put through the same brainwashing techniques in order to create a complacent labor force working in the interests of large corporations and secretive government, and worst of all, they are completely unaware of it. I will never be able to turn back these 18 years. I can’t run away to another country with an education system meant to enlighten rather than condition. This part of my life is over, and I want to make sure that no other child will have his or her potential suppressed by powers meant to exploit and control. We are human beings. We are thinkers, dreamers, explorers, artists, writers, engineers. We are anything we want to be – but only if we have an educational system that supports us rather than holds us down. A tree can grow, but only if its roots are given a healthy foundation.

For those of you out there that must continue to sit in desks and yield to the authoritarian ideologies of instructors, do not be disheartened. You still have the opportunity to stand up, ask questions, be critical, and create your own perspective. Demand a setting that will provide you with intellectual capabilities that allow you to expand your mind instead of directing it. Demand that you be interested in class. Demand that the excuse, “You have to learn this for the test” is not good enough for you. Education is an excellent tool, if used properly, but focus more on learning rather than getting good grades.

For those of you that work within the system that I am condemning, I do not mean to insult; I intend to motivate. You have the power to change the incompetencies of this system. I know that you did not become a teacher or administrator to see your students bored. You cannot accept the authority of the governing bodies that tell you what to teach, how to teach it, and that you will be punished if you do not comply. Our potential is at stake.

For those of you that are now leaving this establishment, I say, do not forget what went on in these classrooms. Do not abandon those that come after you. We are the new future and we are not going to let tradition stand. We will break down the walls of corruption to let a garden of knowledge grow throughout America. Once educated properly, we will have the power to do anything, and best of all, we will only use that power for good, for we will be cultivated and wise. We will not accept anything at face value. We will ask questions, and we will demand truth.

So, here I stand. I am not standing here as valedictorian by myself. I was molded by my environment, by all of my peers who are sitting here watching me. I couldn’t have accomplished this without all of you. It was all of you who truly made me the person I am today. It was all of you who were my competition, yet my backbone. In that way, we are all valedictorians.

I am now supposed to say farewell to this institution, those who maintain it, and those who stand with me and behind me, but I hope this farewell is more of a “see you later” when we are all working together to rear a pedagogic movement. But first, let’s go get those pieces of paper that tell us that we’re smart enough to do so!

August 18, 2010

Manifesting a Dream Life Part 2: Love and Want

I have a simple question for you.

What do you want in your life?

Do you want money, prestige, art, love, a wonderful wardrobe, a life filled with magic, children, a family, a home—what is it that drives you?

Do you even know? You probably do know what you want, but instead of acting, you have taken your wants and placed them inside a box and put that box in a high place where it can be forgotten. You have sacrificed your wants for more important things like that dead end job and that destructive relationship.

Part 2 is harder for me to write than part 1, because there is no right or wrong way to get what you want. What some people want can hurt others. Wants are not as black and white as needs.

So I’ll write this through the perspective of what I want. I want to be a successful and published novelist. Not writer. Novelist. I have already been able to achieve the status of writer by being paid to write. However, I am not currently getting paid to write what I love—which is fiction.

In order to become a novelist I must first write a novel. Once the novel is finished, then I can send it to publishers and annoy someone into giving me a chance.

Common excuses I might make to not finish my novel are: I do not have enough time. I cannot find inspiration. My writing is bad, etc.

These may all seem like obstacles to finish my novel, but they are not. My real obstacle is fear and doubt.

What am I afraid of?

I am afraid of rejection, poverty, having to work harder than I’d like, and I’m concerned with what other people may think of the book.

If I really want to be a novelist, I must eliminate these fears. They are figments of my imagination. I create my own obstacles.

In the end, I am the only person who is holding me back from becoming a novelist.

Another thing that I need to figure out is why I want to be a novelist. Do I want to be a novelist because I enjoy the process of writing, or do I want to be a novelist because I find the life of a published novelist to be glamorous and I want the esteem that publication brings?

If you want to do something just because you like the results, but not the process, than think again about whether it is something you really want. You may want to be famous, but when you think about the process of becoming famous, the results may not be worth it.

Think about what you want. Now think about whether or not you actually want it. Do you want a family because you would love to have a family, or do you want to have a family because you want to love to have a family?

Want and love go hand in hand. You cannot want without love. The desire to become is like sex. You can be caught up in your passion and desire for someone, but will you love that person forever?

Getting what you want is not a one night stand. You must be willing to commit to your dreams. Without commitment, the dreams cannot come true. Without love, you must have never wanted it in the first place.

Do what you love. Be what you love. Want what you love.

I know a girl who wants to be a mother so badly that she is willing to marry any common Joe. She is thirty and she feels her biological clock ticking, so she has begun dating on the Internet. The moment she meets a guy she tells him her intentions to marry and have kids and wants to know immediately what his views on raising children are. As a result, she has scared away over six men in the last three months. Even if she is able to find a man willing to commit with her, she is living a life where the end justifies the means. By placing a stipulation on the marriage, it is polluted. Her want lacks love. If she allowed herself to slowly enter a relationship with a man and fall in love with him first, before thinking about their future children, than she will achieve the step-by-step process living a life of love and dreams requires.

Everything must be achieved the right way. I could steal an unpublished manuscript from someone writing at the same level I am, publish it, and reap the benefits and prestige that being a published writer brings, but I will miss out on the joys of the writing process. If the girl I know marries a man just so she can have babies, she will miss out on the wonderful experience of building a strong and open relationship with another person that can lead to a secure life and a happy family.

Love what you want. Want it for the right reasons Stop building obstacles in front of yourself and fly to your goal.

Fate does not bless some people with the life of their dreams and deny it from other people. Everyday, things happen in our lives that may make the manifestation of a dream life more difficult, but every single one of us possesses the power to get off the couch, quit the job, meet new people, and create. We are all sorcerers in that way. We can manifest whatever we want with some practice and will.

August 17, 2010

Summer Sessions Interview with Amanda McLoughlin

Hello everyone! I hope you had a great weekend. I took a vacation from the Internet these past four days. My weekend was super busy, and with the video shoot on Monday (my hair is red) I haven’t found time to write Manifesting Your Dream Life Part 2: Love and Want. I hope to write and post it tomorrow, but I will let you know.

I’d like to thank everyone who gave me encouraging and constructive feedback. I think the point I was trying to get across with Part 1 was that in order to manifest your dream life you must first recognize your basic needs, but be open minded to all possibilities.

I may not have Part 2 for you today, but I do have something even more awesome. I joined in with a group of fellow writers to participate in Summer Sessions. What we did was partner  up with another literary diva, and interviewed one another about our writing and our passions. I was paired up with spoken word poet Amanda McLoughlin who posts her insightful and hilarious insights on the net through video logs

**Edit: Quote from Magen Toole about Summer Sessions,” The Summer Sessions is a project I organized with the help of Melissa Dominic, bringing authors, poets, photographers and authors together under a common theme: A desire to create. The project consists of eight women, in different stages of their careers and creative development, from different cultural and educational backgrounds, who agreed to be interviewed and interview one another, with the goal of cross-posting each others’ interviews in our respective blogs. It’s a project about knowing who’s in our community, and giving back to that community by helping one another promote our own work.”

So, here is my interview with Amanda! Check out her vlog and stay tuned to see her new blog, which should go live in a few days.

When and why did you begin performing spoken word poetry?

I had been writing spoken-word for a year or more before I gathered the courage to perform. I was known in my high school drama club as a very good stage manager and technician, but there was a running joke about how I would never perform. It was the winter of my senior year when I signed up to perform at a variety night, to everyone’s surprise (including my own). But I had work to share, and I figured that it was too good an opportunity to pass up. I loved performing, and my friends were really impressed with my work, so I kept at it.

When did you first consider yourself a writer/poet?

My whole life. I have not always had the guts to “out” myself as a writer to friends and family, but the more I write and perform and get published, the easier it is to use words like “poet” and “writer.”

Do you have a specific performance style?

I am still new to the genre, so I am still developing my style with every performance. But I tend to engage the audience quite a bit, to make use of my hands and posture, and to use subtle variations of my own accent depending on the narrator and his or her emotional state.

Is there a message in your work that you want listeners to grasp?

Most of my work has to do with adolescence, especially about young women learning to love and stand up for themselves. While the poem might be about a new year’s party or about meeting a girlfriend, somehow it comes back to self-realization. As a teenager, I find it hard not to write about growing up in one way or another.

What books have most influenced your life most?

My top five: A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce, The Sorrows of Young Werther by Goethe, Brave New World by Aldous Huxley, Macbeth, and Hamlet. All of these helped me wrap my head around adolescence and love, as well as diversified my reading habits. The book Annie on My Mind was one of my first literary loves, and led me to be an avid reader of and supporter of YA. My favorite YA authors include John Green, David Levithan, J.K. Rowling, Maureen Johnson, Scott Westerfeld, Julie Anne Peters, Libba Bray, and Holly Black.

What are your current projects?

I am always writing poetry, and it generally is my default medium. I am also building my website (amandamcloughlin.wordpress.com), producing hours of video per month at my YouTube channel (youtube.com/shessomickey), and working on my BAs in English and Dramatic Literature.

Do you see poetry as a career?

In spirit, no — one of my favorite quotes is that “being a poet is a condition, not a profession” — but it is a dream of mine to be able to life off of my poetry alone. It’s a scary thought to rely on one’s creativity, one’s passion, for a living, but something I aspire to do. Whether I do or do not one day call myself a professional poet, I know that I will never stop writing.

Can you share a little of your current work with us?

Yes, there are text and audio versions of many of my poems at my website. I am also preparing to write my fifth novel in thirty days during NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month (November).

Is there anything you find particularly challenging in your poetry?

It is often challenging to create a piece with a dynamic attitude. Often my positive work lacks tension, and my more angst-ridden or darker pieces are irredeemably so.

Have you learned anything from writing, and if so, what?

The meaning of life is other people. I did not understand that until I realized how completely and utterly my work deals with the complexities of humanity. Imagining other people complexly, as author John Green puts it, is the only way we can come close to understanding the world. Being able to explore other people’s heads through my writing is so veer useful in my everyday perception of others.

Why did you choose to create v-logs instead of the traditional written blog format?

I am deeply in love with the YouTube community. The way it connects people of all ages, backgrounds, and locations over common themes fascinates me, as does the ability to get to know other people face-to-face instead of as usernames or pictures. In my year and a half as a vlogger (video blogger), I have come to meet dozens of now-close friends, and tackled subjects I never imagined I would have had an opinion about (the politics of Iran, net neutrality & censorship, new media). Blogs, I feel, simply cannot access the same rich community of people in the same way.

That being said, I did recently create a website and blog to center all of my Internet activity. Having both outlets to communicate varied content is quite a privilege.

Who is your favorite spoken word poet?

Rives, Gemineye, Anis Moijgani, and Taylor Mali are all favorites. I keep a running playlist of my favorite spoken word poems and performances at my YouTube channel.

How do you find inspiration for your work?

Again, other people. The thoughts, opinions, actions, and personalities of people I encounter most often inspire work. Reading poetry, watching spoken-word, and looking at photos also put me in a creative mood.

I will be posting the next interview in the Summer Sessions series next Tuesday. I hope you enjoy them, and check out these amazing artists.

August 13, 2010

Manifesting a Dream Life Part 1: Your Needs

Disclaimer: I am not a self-help expert. These are only my opinions. I am guilty of not following my own advice (though I will change that, beginning now). I encourage you to disagree with me if you want and offer your own advice on how to manifest a dream life. There is no right or wrong way to do it as long as you make your happiness a priority.

I am twenty-two years old and for the last few years, I have been living my life as if I was an infant. I have been sitting safe in a bubble of my own making, waiting for the right time to begin living my dreams. The time to live my dreams has come again and again, passing through my life in an endless parade, and I have refused to see it. I have put off doing so much—taking charge of my health, taking charge of my writing, taking charge of my finances—because I was waiting for a better time.

I cannot be blind anymore. I have been meditating on this a lot, and through these meditations I have become very angry and ashamed of myself. I will not play games with my dreams anymore. The time has come to begin manifesting my dream life. No one—not God, or fate, or nature—has the power to make my dreams come true. Only I have that power.

How does someone begin manifesting their dream life?

Before you can do anything else, you must recognize your needs. Needs are mostly physiological—water, air, food, clothing, shelter, and sleep. They are the basis for Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, but it is amazing how many people take their physiological needs for granted.

1. Doctors and health experts have repeated the importance of drinking water, but their advice is ignored by many people. A popular rule is to drink 8-ounces of fluid a day. The Institute of Medicine advises that men consume roughly 3 liters (about 13 cups) of total beverages a day and women consume 2.2 liters (about 9 cups) of total beverages a day.

2. Food does more than keep you alive, it also helps you function. We live in a society where a large percentage of people are obese and suffering from a love for food. The problem is that so many foods that do not help our bodies grow and function are available to us. It is actually difficult and more expensive to find healthy food in the grocery store, at the co-op or at the farmer’s market than it is to run to the pizza place on the corner or to the local McDonalds. The meals at these places are quick, cheap, and fulfilling. No amount of writing, news stories and reality television shows are going to convince people to begin eating healthy. You must decide for yourself what is more important to you: A quick and cheap meal that can destroy your body, or a meal that takes more time and preparation and will help fuel your will to live a dream life.

3. Clothing is a need that people have taken for granted. Many will sacrifice the funds they need to provide for other needs, like food and shelter, in order to buy a new pair of shoes or a handbag in the latest style. Unless your finances are under control (more on that later) there is no need to purchase more than the basic clothing essentials. You can then build off the essentials once you get your finances under control.

4. It is sad to know how many individuals are homeless and living on the streets in the United States, it is even sadder when you remember that the United States is a capitalist country that thrives on consumerism. The national mentality to put material wants over basic human needs has created an environment of anxiety and desperation. You must always put your need for shelter and security above any need you might have to travel across the country, buy a new purse or purchase the iPhone. Pay your rent first! Just as with clothing, you cannot live a dream life until you have the finances or the ability to put your basic human needs first. Needs before wants! Always.

5. I keep hearing about these crazy people who only sleep a few hours a night. How do you do it? If I do not get between 7-8 hours of sleep at night, than I am unable to function during the day. Sleep is a basic need, so no excuses! No matter how busy you are, nothing is more important than taking care of your health and your body so please try to get enough sleep every night. At least six hours. How can you feel powerful enough to overcome the obstacles blocking the way to living your dream life if you do not have enough energy?

I believe that you should be aware of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. It expands upon the basic physiological needs to include things like security (which I mentioned before), social, esteem, and self-actualization. The important thing to realize about Maslow’s Hierarchy is that in order to fulfill one pillar of need, you must first fulfill all the needs below it. In order to be secure you must first fulfill your physiological needs, in order to be social you must first be secure and fulfill your physiological needs, etc.

This fulfillment of needs leads you to self-actualization, the realization of your goals. This is what this site says about self-actualization:

“Self-actualization is the summit of Maslow’s motivation theory. It is about the quest of reaching one’s full potential as a person. Unlike lower level needs, this need is never fully satisfied; as one grows psychologically there are always new opportunities to continue to grow.

Self-actualized people tend to have motivators such as:

  • Truth
  • Justice
  • Wisdom
  • Meaning

Self-actualized persons have frequent occurrences of peak experiences, which are energized moments of profound happiness and harmony. According to Maslow, only a small percentage of the population reaches the level of self-actualization.”

You cannot skip steps in the hierarchy. Self-actualization will not happen overnight. It is a journey of a lifetime. If you have the will and the desire, than there is no reason you shouldn’t be able to work your way to the top. Let us change what Maslow said about only a small percentage of the population reaching this level!

I also want to make a note here about enjoying your needs. Just because something is a need, and not a want, there is no reason not to enjoy it. Do you hate the idea of exercise but want to lose weight and become healthy? Than maybe you are not finding the right form of exercise for you! You do no have to go jogging or join a gym to get in shape. Is there a sport you like to play, or an activity you like to do? Take up horse back riding or hula-hooping. Make exercise a natural part of your life, not an unnatural interruption to your life.

So many people hate their job. This negative emotion bogs down your quality of life and blocks your path towards self-fulfillment. I believe that finding a job you love is one of the most important things you can do with your life. First step to finding the job you love? Stop listening to other people. When I decided to become a freelance writer fulltime, the idea scared other people. They responded with things like, “Well that’s a nice way to make money until you find a real job.”

A real job? Writing is a real job. It is an unconventional job, but it is real. It is more than just a hobby. The job didn’t fall into my lap, I had to think outside of the job search engine mentality and talk to people, submit resumes to publications, and really research what it meant to be a freelancer. Finding your dream job takes work. No one is going to hand a job to you. Ever. Get that idea out of your head. Just because you have a degree, you are not entitled to a job. Just because you know someone, you are not entitled to a job. You are not entitled to anything unless you really want it and work hard to get it.

Also, do not be fooled by talks of job security and health insurance. You can create your own 401 K by putting aside a certain percent of your paycheck yourself, and if you research, there are many ways to get health insurance without having to find a job that gives it to you. I joined a guild for freelancers that gave me discounts on health and dental insurance. I put aside a certain amount of my paycheck every week. I do not need a company to take care of me. You do not either.

But please, do not go out and quit your job just because what I said. I’d like to remind you that I am not an expert and these are just my opinions. Research as much as you can about the challenges of being self employed before you make any decisions. Talk to experts and take their advice. In the end, the important thing is that you enjoy what you do with your life. You spend so much time at work, if you don’t love it, how can you love living?

Manifesting a Dream Life Part 2—Love and Wants will be coming on Monday! Enjoy your weekend!

As my favorite astrologer says, “Live, love, be.”

-Lorelle

August 11, 2010

What I’ve Learned From Living On My Own

Image by Metin Demiralay--scarabuss.deviantart.com

Barely two-months have gone by, and my adventures in living on my own are at an end. Next week I move back in with my parents, which is something I once swore I’d never do, but my eagerness to be back where I grew up just shows how much I have really grown over the years.

Living on my own was the last step I had to take towards discovering what is important to me. I had approached living alone with the eager thought that all my dreams were finally coming true. I had spent most of my childhood fantasizing about living on my own. Like so many things that we dream about as children, the fantasy was very different from the reality.

I am sure it would have been different if my situation weren’t so drastic. I had to live on my own because my boyfriend and my friends were moving back home to prepare for our eventual move to Santa Fe, and I had to stay behind in Albany to finish out my internship. I went from living in a small family unit of my own invention–my boyfriend, our friend, and I–to living two-hundred miles away from my entire family, all my friends and my boyfriend. Living on my own may have been completely different if someone familiar was close by. Instead, the only socialization I did all summer were occasional meet-ups with some friends in the area and my lunch conversations with the girls at work. It was very lonely to come home to a tiny apartment every evening with no company but my cat.

It was not my intention to make myself sound pitiful. Living on my own was a very important learning experience for me. It taught me that to be in a place called “home,” you need to surround yourself with people who love you. They don’t have to be living in the same apartment as you, but they need to be nearby.

I will never take my loved ones for granted again.